¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-05 443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
but ,we need to control our diet.

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.


She is already excell at singing.
though, I don't stop trying.

I presently like the actor since I fell in love with him in the movie.

before i live in studio apartment,
i want to be live in there but now is not

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you again next week! Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                     Make sentences using the words and expressions below, including the conjunctions given:


if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
>> If you go to the gym and ride a stationary bike regularly, you can lose weight in a short period of time.

Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
>> CORRECT~~

but ,we need to control our diet.
>> But we still need to control our diet. 

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.
>> In the past, you excelled at one thing, you could get a job, but not these days. 

She is already excell at singing.
>> She is already excellent at singing.
>> OR: She already excels at singing. 

though, I don't stop trying.
>> OR: Though I don't stop trying, I still can't achieve my goal. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139898 HOMEWORK FOR 09.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What¡¯s the most annoying... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2
139897 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 196
139896 Do you have any harmless bad habits? Do they annoy other people? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 171
139895 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 179
139894 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 3
139893 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 182
139892 The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 183
139891 How do you usually spend your Chuseok holiday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 0
139890 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 172
139889 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 184
139888 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 100
139887 What do you think is the most mysterious planet? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 190
139886 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 2
139885 An adjective to describe me is .. ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 2
139884 Q) What did you like about school when you were a child? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 0
139883 Second homework in this week ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 72
139882 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 180
139881 9/12(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 190
139880 Why is it important to obey your parents? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 183
139879 Summer or winter vacation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 107

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04