¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-04 559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone. We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people. Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. However, people want to be treated with same standard if there are some incidents. We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang~! You have done a good job here of creating a structured and flowing argument. You have given reasons for your opinions, which help successfully develop your concepts! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, people want to be treated with the same standard if there are some incidents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134127 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 381
134126 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134125 Korea in movies ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 0
134124 Make, compose, or construct two (2) sentences with the adjective... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1
134123 If you could make a January festival ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1
134122 Without a reservation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 617
134121 Who is your favorite Disney hero or heroine? Would you trade... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134120 \'constantly super early\'. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 612
134119 I love my name. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 513
134118 In my case, there\'s no one who says I look like a famous person À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 151
134117 What is the most popular drink (alcohol) in your country? À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 393
134116 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What kind of... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134115 Do you have a fidget spinner? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 460
134114 The age of children\'s travel Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 660
134113 Is it necessary to change your phone every two years? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134112 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 405
134111 What do you consider first when buying appliances? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134110 my best cook is.. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 621
134109 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 407
134108 Five years from now ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 749

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04