¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The way to relieve my stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-03 550

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Min!

I am glad that you made it here again on the composition page. 

Coping with stress is a lesson that they do not teach in school. Yet, it can impact our lives greatly if we do not know how to handle our stressful situations well. Hence, we need to aim for balance and boundary to know our limitations and strengths in dealing with challenges.

Congratulations for these two perfect sentences. They were well-written and composed.

See you later!

-T. Donna~

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
>> Correct!

After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134292 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134291 Do you think it\'s important to be perfect at using all the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134290 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 511
134289 Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why? À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 757
134288 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 807
134287 homework 01.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 588
134286 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 738
134285 What\'s one thing you\'re hoping to achieve this weekend? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134284 How to work effectively ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134283 Which one do you prefer iPhone or Samsung and why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 311
134282 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 496
134281 If there is any improvement your city can do to make public... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 466
134280 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 484
134279 experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134278 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134277 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 259
134276 essay 11 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 243
134275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 522
134274 I want to live in Canada or Australia. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 564
134273 A movie with a little comedy added to the c-list documentary. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 658

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04