¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The way to relieve my stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-03 288

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Min!

I am glad that you made it here again on the composition page. 

Coping with stress is a lesson that they do not teach in school. Yet, it can impact our lives greatly if we do not know how to handle our stressful situations well. Hence, we need to aim for balance and boundary to know our limitations and strengths in dealing with challenges.

Congratulations for these two perfect sentences. They were well-written and composed.

See you later!

-T. Donna~

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
>> Correct!

After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137787 How does stress affect people? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 0
137786 What would you change about your morning routine? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 191
137785 chicken out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 1
137784 Do you think it\'s a good idea to write your goals down and tick... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 170
137783 Would you rather have a stressful, high-paying job or a relaxed,... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 235
137782 Knowledge is Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 237
137781 How do you support others in their goals? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 256
137780 This is because everyone has different environments and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 212
137779 June 10th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 316
137778 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 0
137777 Hobbies reduce our stress and help us feel happy. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 216
137776 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 304
137775 I\'m satisfied with my life now À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 275
137774 My bad habits ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 15
137773 Modern communication tools ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 302
137772 HOMEWORK DAY 2 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 253
137771 Do you think it\'s smart to complain or get angry at someone who... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2
137770 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 185
137769 What can you say about the current Ma Dong-seok movie titled... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 217
137768 Share your movie review of the most recent movie you have seen ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 241

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04