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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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How can weightlifting help with everyday activities and overall health?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-02 496

회원님의 영작문

When I go to the gym, I tend to use the treadmill or bike rather than weight training.
However, I see many young people doing weight training to build muscle.
Weightlifting is a representative weight training sport.
I think that lifting weights can strengthen the muscles of the lower body, waist, and arms. So it seems like it will make things like doing housework or moving furniture easier.
It is also known to improve bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.
It also improves your ability to maintain balance, reducing the risk of falls and injuries.
In addition, I think it will contribute to increasing work engagement and improving performance at work by strengthening not only physical health but also resilience and concentration.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Tuesday, Sun! 

Strength training may enhance your quality of life and improve your ability to do everyday activities. Strength training can also protect your joints from injury. Building muscle also can contribute to better balance and may reduce your risk of falls. This can help you maintain independence as you age.

- Kristine ^^ 

When I go to the gym, I tend to use the treadmill or bike rather than weight training.
>> Instead of lifting weights when I go to the gym, I usually use a stationary bike or treadmill.
However, I see many young people doing weight training to build muscle.
>> However I see a lot of young people doing weights to build muscle.
Weightlifting is a representative weight training sport.
>> Weightlifting is considered a weight-training sport.
I think that lifting weights can strengthen the muscles of the lower body, waist, and arms. 
>> I believe that arm, waist, and lower body muscles could all be strengthened by lifting weights.
So it seems like it will make things like doing housework or moving furniture easier.
>> Therefore, it appears that it will facilitate tasks like moving furniture and doing housework.
It is also known to improve bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.
>> Additionally, it has been shown to increase bone density and lower the incidence of fractures and osteoporosis.
It also improves your ability to maintain balance, reducing the risk of falls and injuries.
>> Furthermore, it enhances your capacity for balance, which lowers your chance of accidents and falls.
In addition, I think it will contribute to increasing work engagement and improving performance at work by strengthening not only physical health but also resilience and concentration.
>> I believe that by enhancing not only physical health but also resilience and concentration, it will help to raise work engagement and improve performance elsewhere.
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