¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a por

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*´Ã
2024-07-01 1096

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q . Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A. To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest. If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse. So I agree with the opinion. Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there CAMILLE! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> When people find themselves able to empty their minds during moments of inactivity, it serves as a signal for rest.
If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 So I agree with the opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.
>>> CORRECT~!^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137403 If you could create your own coffee blend, what flavors would... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1061
137402 Tell me about the most difficult thing that happened to you at... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1448
137401 How can music help with motivation during different activities? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1335
137400 Describe a new thing you\'ve tried recently. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1080
137399 What is the most sensible gift? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1055
137398 Do you think you are getting more patient or impatient as you... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1398
137397 Language that I dislike the sound of ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1108
137396 Keeping endangered animals safe ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1569
137395 selfish DNA ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1225
137394 Page.29 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 1
137393 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 702
137392 Do people\'s leisure time activities change as they get older?... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 814
137391 HOMEWORK FOR 05/22 ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 4
137390 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1
137389 What songs or music would you like to fall asleep to? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1282
137388 What do you think of rainforests? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1145
137387 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 0
137386 What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1962
137385 Where do you think is the most dangerous place to go on a trip?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1446
137384 Do you shop online? Do you like it? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 1074

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04