¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a por

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*´Ã
2024-07-01 505

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q . Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A. To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest. If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse. So I agree with the opinion. Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there CAMILLE! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> When people find themselves able to empty their minds during moments of inactivity, it serves as a signal for rest.
If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 So I agree with the opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.
>>> CORRECT~!^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136167 Staying overnight ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 332
136166 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 268
136165 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1
136164 2024.04.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1
136163 How do weekends make you feel? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 3
136162 Apri 3th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 175
136161 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 204
136160 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 272
136159 Do you remember all your dreams? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 297
136158 homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 2
136157 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 229
136156 Can you share a memorable experience from a past relationship,... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 2
136155 Have you ever experienced being completed wrong in your first... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 5
136154 Homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 233
136153 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 187
136152 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 0
136151 How does social media affect people\'s self-esteem? Share your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 208
136150 Tell me about the most fashionable person you know? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 229
136149 Does the weather affect your mood? Please explain. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 356
136148 Do you believe it\'s better to pursue passion-driven career... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 171

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04