¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a por

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*´Ã
2024-07-01 1221

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q . Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the stress of everyday life is to spend a portion of the day doing absolutely nothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A. To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest. If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse. So I agree with the opinion. Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there CAMILLE! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
To compare humans with electric devices, humans also need to recharge our energy to resume activities in a daily life. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
If people can think nothing when they are doing nothing, this is a signal for rest.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> When people find themselves able to empty their minds during moments of inactivity, it serves as a signal for rest.
If we overcome this limit and are at this stage, then burnout is coming soon and resilience gets worse.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 So I agree with the opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Taking a rest without doing nothing really help us to recover from stress.
>>> CORRECT~!^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141750 Whawhat do you enjoy most about learning English? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 351
141749 Page 25 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 0
141748 Which is a better place to live, big cities or small towns? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 742
141747 What are the advantages of going to a salon rather than a... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141746 Is there a specific habit you want to start or break in the new... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141745 What was your biggest accomplishment in 2024? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141744 Why did the plane crash in Jeju? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 321
141743 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141742 20 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 304
141741 30 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 292
141740 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141739 Spend your time on good activities ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141738 How can you convince someone to stop smoking? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 306
141737 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 331
141736 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141735 What is the most popular place in your country? Describe it. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 254
141734 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate, and... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 299
141733 Describe a place that makes you feel happy and explain why it¡¯s... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 277
141732 What are your new year\'s resolutions? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 278
141731 How do companies in your country treat sick workers? Do... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04