무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What safety measures should be followed when practicing archery?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-01 711

회원님의 영작문

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
This is most important.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you, Sun! 

You can practice your shooting anywhere it's safe and outside of urban growth boundaries. It's also illegal to shoot in the direction of any person, building, structure or vehicle within the range of your bow. So be sure there's y a clear line of sight between you and the target, and a safe backstop.

- Kristine ^^ 

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. 
>> Given that archery is a sport that uses deadly weapons, adopting safety precautions is crucial.
If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
>> Someone may suffer injury or, in life-threatening situations, pass away if you make a mistake.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
>> Most men in Korea served in the military and have firearms skills.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
>> I'll discuss archery based on my gun-shooting experience because it's comparable to shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. 
>> Frist, prior to shooting an arrow, you must warm up properly.
Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
>> It takes strength to pull the bowstring, and a bad pull might cause damage to the shoulder.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
>> Second, make sure that no persons or animals are present throughout the whole archery range, including the area surrounding the target, before firing a bow.
This is most important.
>> Correct. 
Or >> This is the most crucial thing.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
>> Third, watch out that other archers don't shoot the bow as you try to pick it up.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.
>> Fourth, an archer has to make sure that his bow is pointed only at the target and nowhere else.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
131422 homework 정*호 완료 2023-10-04 0
131421 Is the issue of healthy eating important to you? 유* 완료 2023-10-04 691
131420 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “My most... 앨* 완료 2023-10-04 2
131419 Where do you think is the best place to live in the world? Why? 이*우 완료 2023-10-04 2
131418 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-10-04 1512
131417 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-10-04 621
131416 231004-HOMEWORK 양*애 완료 2023-10-04 1
131415 Whose feedback or opinion do you value most? Why? 김*아 완료 2023-10-04 2
131414 Is it always important to prepare for the future? 이*태 완료 2023-10-04 601
131413 What is your message to your fellow Koreans to stop pollution? 이*태 완료 2023-10-04 696
131412 What is the most difficult part of your job? 이*태 완료 2023-10-04 683
131411 Would it be a big problem for you if your cell phone was lost or... 이*태 완료 2023-10-04 646
131410 If you were a tourist, what kind of experiences would you look... 김*원 완료 2023-10-04 1
131409 Favorite things at family gatherings 류*원 완료 2023-10-04 1
131408 When I send a dish back 강*율 완료 2023-10-04 1
131407 HOMEWORK 김*지 완료 2023-10-04 721
131406 HOMEWORK 김*지 완료 2023-10-04 875
131405 Hope 김*아 완료 2023-10-04 377
131404 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-10-03 796
131403 Homework 김*연 완료 2023-10-03 448

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]