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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What safety measures should be followed when practicing archery?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-01 541

회원님의 영작문

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
This is most important.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you, Sun! 

You can practice your shooting anywhere it's safe and outside of urban growth boundaries. It's also illegal to shoot in the direction of any person, building, structure or vehicle within the range of your bow. So be sure there's y a clear line of sight between you and the target, and a safe backstop.

- Kristine ^^ 

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. 
>> Given that archery is a sport that uses deadly weapons, adopting safety precautions is crucial.
If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
>> Someone may suffer injury or, in life-threatening situations, pass away if you make a mistake.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
>> Most men in Korea served in the military and have firearms skills.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
>> I'll discuss archery based on my gun-shooting experience because it's comparable to shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. 
>> Frist, prior to shooting an arrow, you must warm up properly.
Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
>> It takes strength to pull the bowstring, and a bad pull might cause damage to the shoulder.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
>> Second, make sure that no persons or animals are present throughout the whole archery range, including the area surrounding the target, before firing a bow.
This is most important.
>> Correct. 
Or >> This is the most crucial thing.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
>> Third, watch out that other archers don't shoot the bow as you try to pick it up.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.
>> Fourth, an archer has to make sure that his bow is pointed only at the target and nowhere else.
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