무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What safety measures should be followed when practicing archery?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-01 398

회원님의 영작문

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
This is most important.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you, Sun! 

You can practice your shooting anywhere it's safe and outside of urban growth boundaries. It's also illegal to shoot in the direction of any person, building, structure or vehicle within the range of your bow. So be sure there's y a clear line of sight between you and the target, and a safe backstop.

- Kristine ^^ 

Archery is a sport that involves lethal weapons, so it is really important to follow safety measures when practicing. 
>> Given that archery is a sport that uses deadly weapons, adopting safety precautions is crucial.
If you make a mistake, someone can get hurt or, in extreme cases, die.
>> Someone may suffer injury or, in life-threatening situations, pass away if you make a mistake.
In Korea, most men have served in the military and have experience shooting a gun.
>> Most men in Korea served in the military and have firearms skills.
Since archery is similar to shooting a gun, I will talk about it based on my experience shooting a gun.
>> I'll discuss archery based on my gun-shooting experience because it's comparable to shooting a gun.
First, you must warm up sufficiently before shooting an arrow. 
>> Frist, prior to shooting an arrow, you must warm up properly.
Pulling the bowstring requires strength and, if done incorrectly, can result in shoulder injury.
>> It takes strength to pull the bowstring, and a bad pull might cause damage to the shoulder.
Second, before shooting a bow, you must check if there are any people or animals in the entire archery range, including around the target, and make sure they leave the area.
>> Second, make sure that no persons or animals are present throughout the whole archery range, including the area surrounding the target, before firing a bow.
This is most important.
>> Correct. 
Or >> This is the most crucial thing.
Third, when going to collect the bow, make sure that other archers do not shoot the bow.
>> Third, watch out that other archers don't shoot the bow as you try to pick it up.
Fourth, when an archer shoots a bow, he must make sure that he does not aim in any direction other than the target.
>> Fourth, an archer has to make sure that his bow is pointed only at the target and nowhere else.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136763 Do you love peace and quiet? Where do you go to feel that way? 김* 완료 2024-04-26 0
136762 What do you think of ? 박*은 완료 2024-04-26 201
136761 How do you think the popularity of e-bikes will evolve in the... 박*은 완료 2024-04-26 170
136760 Can you describe your typical Wednesday? 박*은 완료 2024-04-26 207
136759 How do personal goals and career ambitions influence the choice... 박*은 완료 2024-04-26 217
136758 2024.04.26 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-04-26 1
136757 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-04-26 155
136756 Is the desert safe or dagerous to visit? 박*현 완료 2024-04-26 478
136755 peace and quiet 최*정 완료 2024-04-26 3
136754 homework 김*별 완료 2024-04-26 2
136753 Do you think Korean cuisine is healthier compare to other... 권*희 완료 2024-04-26 254
136752 Many families send their children to private institutes or... 윤*진 완료 2024-04-26 1
136751 What would you do if there\'s an urgent situation at work and no... 이*연 완료 2024-04-26 2
136750 homework 이*수 완료 2024-04-26 300
136749 Playing a claw machine game is the best way to relieve stress. 최* 완료 2024-04-26 224
136748 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-26 153
136747 My weakness that hinders mi from accomplishing my goals. 최* 완료 2024-04-26 267
136746 What preparation in general do you need to have before... 박*호 완료 2024-04-26 238
136745 24.Apr.2024 김*정 완료 2024-04-26 0
136744 What part of the concert will bring you disappointed? 김*욱 완료 2024-04-26 238

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]