¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s good to have a big family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-30 731

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's good. Because not lonely, it's fun and have big house.
Played with my family it's fun and not lon1ely The house is big because many family members in there.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yale!

Here's your revised homework. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few and minor revisions made. 
Have a good one!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                      Do you think it's good to have a big family?


I think it's good. Because not lonely, it's fun and have big house.
>> I think it's good because it¡¯s not lonely; it's fun and the family can live in a big house.

Played with my family it's fun and not lon1ely
>> If I had a big family, it would be fun and  I wouldn¡¯t be lonely. 

The house is big because many family members in there.
>> The house is big because many family members are living there. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138445 Write three good things about Seoul. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 680
138444 Apart from Korea, which country do you think has the best food... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 1
138443 What are the benefits of conversation protocol? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 1
138442 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 641
138441 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 2
138440 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 669
138439 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 643
138438 Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 0
138437 Yes, I think so. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 726
138436 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 0
138435 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 607
138434 I don\'t know I understand this sentence well À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 687
138433 It\'s best to chat at home together. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 771
138432 HOMEWORK FOR 07.11.2024 WRITING TASK: If your friend often... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 2
138431 How do modern children\'s books differ from classic ones in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 817
138430 Homework À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 1
138429 Why do some people give in to depression? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 813
138428 ¼÷Á¦ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 694
138427 Are clothes important to you? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 0
138426 What is the biggest risk of starting your own business? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04