¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s good to have a big family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-30 415

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's good. Because not lonely, it's fun and have big house.
Played with my family it's fun and not lon1ely The house is big because many family members in there.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yale!

Here's your revised homework. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few and minor revisions made. 
Have a good one!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                      Do you think it's good to have a big family?


I think it's good. Because not lonely, it's fun and have big house.
>> I think it's good because it¡¯s not lonely; it's fun and the family can live in a big house.

Played with my family it's fun and not lon1ely
>> If I had a big family, it would be fun and  I wouldn¡¯t be lonely. 

The house is big because many family members in there.
>> The house is big because many family members are living there. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139944 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 191
139943 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139942 Is it okay not to be honest? µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 195
139941 How important are weekends in maintaining a healthy work-life... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 195
139940 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate and... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 184
139939 How old were you when you first tried alcohol? Who were you with? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 166
139938 What was the last piece of bad news you heard? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 2
139937 Homework 0919 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 186
139936 How do you motivate yourself to work every day? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139935 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 0
139934 Would you always care to fulfill the requests of your family and... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 190
139933 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 1
139932 Front-row seat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 1
139931 Homework : What is a chore that you really dislike doing? Why... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 14
139930 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 2
139929 Do you help your parents do some household chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 187
139928 alchol party ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 135
139927 What do you do to relax after a busy day? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 0
139926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 0
139925 How do you usually celebrate Chuseok? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 186

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04