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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Q) What kind of people do you like to be friends with on social networking websites?

작성자: 최*영
2024-06-24 1269

회원님의 영작문

I would like to be a friend with prominent figures in diverse fields such as business, finance, politics on the social networking site. From my own perspective, it is the most valuable benefit in social media since we could rarely meet or communicate with these outstanding gurus in person. By following or being friends with them, individuals can gain insightful ideas regarding currently controversial issues like Russia-Ukraine war or the impact of impending US presidential election. If we are lucky, we could get a chance to meet them online or in person like lunch with Warren Buffet. In conclusion, I want to keep in touch with well-known professionals in each field to broaden my horizons and be inspired by their though-provoking opinions.
=================================
Considering your condition, you could revise my writing after getting better. I hope you recover soon. See you on Tuesday.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Ms. Mika! That's a great perspective on the benefits of social media! Building connections with prominent figures in various fields can indeed offer valuable insights and inspiration. 
~T. Jenna

I would like to be a friend with prominent figures in diverse fields such as business, finance, politics on the social networking site. 
>>I would like to be friends with prominent figures in diverse fields such as business, finance, and politics on the social networking site.
From my own perspective, it is the most valuable benefit in social media since we could rarely meet or communicate with these outstanding gurus in person. 
Correct, or
>>From where I stand, the real gem of social media is the opportunity to interact with top-notch experts, something that's like finding a needle in a haystack in real life.
By following or being friends with them, individuals can gain insightful ideas regarding currently controversial issues like Russia-Ukraine war or the impact of impending US presidential election. 
correct, or
>>By connecting with them through follows or friendships, individuals can glean profound insights into pressing issues such as the ongoing Russia-Ukraine conflict or the impending ramifications of the US presidential election.
If we are lucky, we could get a chance to meet them online or in person like lunch with Warren Buffet. 
Correct, or
>>If fortune smiles upon us, we may seize the opportunity to engage with them, whether virtually or in a personal setting, akin to sharing a lunch with Warren Buffett.
In conclusion, I want to keep in touch with well-known professionals in each field to broaden my horizons and be inspired by their though-provoking opinions.
Correct, or
>>In conclusion, I aspire to stay connected with distinguished professionals across various fields to expand my perspectives and draw inspiration from their thought-provoking insights.
=================================

Considering your condition, you could revise my writing after getting better. I hope you recover soon. See you on Tuesday.
"How incredibly sweet and thoughtful of you. Thank you so much ^^ "
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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