¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Our trait is predetermined before being born?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*
2024-06-24 249

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose that our character is a little bit predetermined. We inherited our physical and characteristic trait from our parents.
It is difficult to change. But if I really try to change the thing that I don't like, I can fix just a little bit. We can't change basic frame.
When I am a kind of stubborn person, I will try not to stick to my opinion. But eventually I will go back to my thoughts,even though I feel obliged to accept different opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. April~! ^^Thanks for doing your essay! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I suppose that our character is a little bit predetermined. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We inherited our physical and characteristic traits from our parents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is difficult to change.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But if I really try to change the thing that I don't like, I can fix just a little bit.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>However, if I make a genuine effort to alter what I dislike, I can improve it slightly.
We can't change the basic frame.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
When I am a kind of stubborn person, I will try not to stick to my opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 But eventually I will go back to my thoughts, even though I feel obliged to accept the different opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138723 2024.07.24 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 4
138722 Shoplifting ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 313
138721 Do you always believe what people tell you? Why or why not? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 304
138720 60\'s nightlife ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2
138719 Logic or Emotion? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 13
138718 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138717 Is fishing a relaxing activity for you? Why or why not? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 304
138716 Describe a memorable experience you had with your friends. ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 322
138715 Homwork ÀÌ*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138714 The disadvantages of technology ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 325
138713 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138712 Least favorable experience ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 282
138711 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 287
138710 2024.07.23 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 335
138709 If you could have it your way, where would you like to go on... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 318
138708 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 4
138707 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138706 Are you careful when using electricity? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 298
138705 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 0
138704 What\'s the typical weather in summer in your country? what are... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 290

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04