¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Our trait is predetermined before being born?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*
2024-06-24 772

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose that our character is a little bit predetermined. We inherited our physical and characteristic trait from our parents.
It is difficult to change. But if I really try to change the thing that I don't like, I can fix just a little bit. We can't change basic frame.
When I am a kind of stubborn person, I will try not to stick to my opinion. But eventually I will go back to my thoughts,even though I feel obliged to accept different opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. April~! ^^Thanks for doing your essay! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I suppose that our character is a little bit predetermined. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We inherited our physical and characteristic traits from our parents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is difficult to change.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But if I really try to change the thing that I don't like, I can fix just a little bit.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>However, if I make a genuine effort to alter what I dislike, I can improve it slightly.
We can't change the basic frame.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
When I am a kind of stubborn person, I will try not to stick to my opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 But eventually I will go back to my thoughts, even though I feel obliged to accept the different opinion.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128862 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 446
128861 What springs to mind when you hear the term ¡®artificial... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 5
128860 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 0
128859 I rode the horses. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 349
128858 Please describe your bedroom. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 0
128857 What is a healthy business competition? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128856 How has technology changed society? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128855 How to choose the restraunt when i visit to the new city. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 311
128854 How do you make friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 283
128853 My most expensive gift ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 221
128852 What is your most expensive gift that you received? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 424
128851 I think I spend a lot of money to show off, to be... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 466
128850 School homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 4
128849 What makes your school special? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128848 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128847 If you were a member of the orchestra, would you want a robot or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 5
128846 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128845 If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 277
128844 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 266
128843 homework 06.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 490

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04