¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their de

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-21 650

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I disagree with the statement that outside influence play a key role in a child's development. Here's why: Parents are typically the primary caregivers and educators in a child's life. They help children construct values, beliefs and behaviors while they are growing up. It is common belief that children who don't get proper care from their parents usually behave badly. They might struggle to make friends at school, so they tend to bother peers to get attention from their friends. Parents play a crucial role in shaping core values, morals and a sense of identity in their children. These elements form the basis upon which children understand themselves and interact with the world around them. Strong parental bonds and guidance can mitigate the impact of negative outside influences. If children have a strong bond with their parents, they are more likely to resist peer pressure, negative media messages and social norms. While outside influences contribute to a child's development, they imp

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Wishing you a fantastic start to the weekend Mr. Hwang!  I am particularly impressed with your discussion of the issue for raising children. You have generally added supporting arguments and necessary point of views. Good job!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I disagree with the statement that outside influence play a key role in a child's development. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Here's why: Parents are typically the primary caregivers and educators in a child's life. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
They help children construct values, beliefs and behaviors while they are growing up.
>>> CORRECT!^^
 It is common belief that children who don't get proper care from their parents usually behave badly. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
They might struggle to make friends at school, so they tend to bother peers to get attention from their friends. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Parents play a crucial role in shaping core values, morals and a sense of identity in their children. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
These elements form the basis upon which children understand themselves and interact with the world around them. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Strong parental bonds and guidance can mitigate the impact of negative outside influences. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
If children have a strong bond with their parents, they are more likely to resist peer pressure, negative media messages and social norms.
>>> CORRECT!^^
 While outside influences contribute to a child's development...
>>> CORRECT!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133891 Do you enjoy trying new foods, or do you prefer to stick to... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 211
133890 What can you say about the generation gap? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 585
133889 Lying doesn\'t make any value ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 449
133888 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 290
133887 What do you like most about IH? Share your answer in a few... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133886 Do you think you will have a second date? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133885 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 287
133884 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 220
133883 Seoul ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 270
133882 essay 5 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 577
133881 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 369
133880 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 5
133879 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 2
133878 What is your opinion about \"Gender Equality\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2
133877 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 538
133876 How do you adapt to changes? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 0
133875 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 278
133874 >> What\'s your outlet when you\'re angry? Mention some of your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1
133873 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 371
133872 Truth and lies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04