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homework 11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-06-19 609

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma

I was pleased to see you!
It's so hot these days, becareful not to get disease.
Have nice day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Diego! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
I agree that outside influence is important when a child becomes an adult. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are varieties of outside influences.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
One's childhood is influenced by one's neighbors, friends, communities and etc.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Parents roll shrink when children go to school.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They spend more time in school rather than at home.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 They learn societies through community activities. 
 >>> They learn [from society ] through community activities. 
These lessons cannot be earned through parents.
>>> These lessons cannot be earned [from] parents.
 Children get the concepts about competition and cooperation, outside of a family. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The knowledge from outside is different from children's parents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is more active, real and diverse.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 These stimulation encourage children to realize the world and what they are.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The outside influence will help child's mature.
 >>>  The outside influence will help the child's [maturity].
One day as a baby bird leave its nest, a child will grow up as an adult and leave their parents. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I believe parents roll is becoming a guide when their child choose a direction and prevent from evil.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe parents should serve as mentors when their children make choices and safeguard them from harm.
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