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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 4

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-19 1202

회원님의 영작문



Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working. I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.

Firstly, people learn second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants. The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system. Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options. For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MINJU! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working.
>>> [Today] there are a lot of people learning foreign languages to seek better opportunities of living and working.
 I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, people learn a second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options.
>>> CORRECT~!^^ 
For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Secondly, people learn second language to get better job opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For instance, professionals fluent in both Korean and English can excel in international business roles, facilitating better communication with clients and partners from other countries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Additionally, in the tourism industry, multilingual tour guides can cater to a diverse range of tourists, enhancing their employability. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Moreover, translators and interpreters who are proficient in multiple languages are in high demand for roles in government agencies and international organizations.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Overall, mastering a second language opens up many opportunities in today's global job market.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, learning a second language is a valuable investment for individuals seeking to improve their quality of life and expand their career opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As more people recognize the benefits of bilingualism, the trend of acquiring new languages will continue to grow, leading to better communication and understanding worldwide.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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140195 What would you do if your best friend stold something from you? 이*윤 완료 2024-10-02 820
140194 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-10-02 1036
140193 What’s the most important date in your calendar and why? 이*범 완료 2024-10-02 784
140192 My motto of life 도*경 완료 2024-10-02 1086
140191 황*하 완료 2024-10-02 865
140190 Which place or country would you like to visit at least once in... 장*영 완료 2024-10-02 930
140189 Yes 민*정 완료 2024-10-02 1
140188 What are the advantages of living in a city? 최*영 완료 2024-10-02 0
140187 What is one hobby you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet? 임*미 완료 2024-10-02 1030
140186 Homework 노*철 완료 2024-10-02 1072
140185 Homework 노*철 완료 2024-10-02 862
140184 What is your favorite day of the week and why? 이*범 완료 2024-10-02 5
140183 Homework 노*철 완료 2024-10-02 935
140182 This is short essay about Korean greetings culture! 서*은 완료 2024-10-02 2
140181 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-10-01 0
140180 Which is a better way to spend your holiday, go away on vacation... 손*희 완료 2024-10-01 1077
140179 My homework 이*도 완료 2024-10-01 1182
140178 My homework 이*도 완료 2024-10-01 1144
140177 What are the benefits of having hobbies? 윤*원 완료 2024-10-01 0
140176 Giving advice 박*경 완료 2024-10-01 1270

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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