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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 4

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-19 733

회원님의 영작문



Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working. I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.

Firstly, people learn second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants. The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system. Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options. For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MINJU! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working.
>>> [Today] there are a lot of people learning foreign languages to seek better opportunities of living and working.
 I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, people learn a second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options.
>>> CORRECT~!^^ 
For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Secondly, people learn second language to get better job opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For instance, professionals fluent in both Korean and English can excel in international business roles, facilitating better communication with clients and partners from other countries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Additionally, in the tourism industry, multilingual tour guides can cater to a diverse range of tourists, enhancing their employability. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Moreover, translators and interpreters who are proficient in multiple languages are in high demand for roles in government agencies and international organizations.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Overall, mastering a second language opens up many opportunities in today's global job market.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, learning a second language is a valuable investment for individuals seeking to improve their quality of life and expand their career opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As more people recognize the benefits of bilingualism, the trend of acquiring new languages will continue to grow, leading to better communication and understanding worldwide.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130500 Homework 하*림 완료 2023-08-25 1
130499 WRITING TASK: What is your favorite activity with your mother? 임*지 완료 2023-08-25 2
130498 Writing Exercise: How do you manage your work-life balance? 서*택 완료 2023-08-25 1011
130497 What danger does your country pose to the global environment? 권*진 완료 2023-08-25 0
130496 Describe a perfect weekend for you 주*진 완료 2023-08-25 1
130495 Do you have any exercise or fitness goals that you’d like to... 복*훈 완료 2023-08-25 1
130494 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... 이*양 완료 2023-08-25 1122
130493 Homework 송*준 완료 2023-08-25 970
130492 Homework 송*준 완료 2023-08-25 774
130491 Why English fluency is significant for you? 주*진 완료 2023-08-25 1
130490 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-08-25 989
130489 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-08-25 616
130488 Do you think there should be a law or school police that... 김*민 완료 2023-08-25 4
130487 Homework 김*영 완료 2023-08-25 1125
130486 . 송*현 완료 2023-08-25 5
130485 What do you think your standard of living will be like when you... 이*민 완료 2023-08-25 1362
130484 Do your family and friends always remember your birthday? 임*호 완료 2023-08-25 0
130483 How can societies promote a culture of care and support for... 정*아 완료 2023-08-25 846
130482 Do you find it easier to forgive a friend or a family member... 김*규 완료 2023-08-25 1
130481 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-08-24 912

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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