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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 4

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-19 680

회원님의 영작문



Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working. I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.

Firstly, people learn second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants. The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system. Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options. For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MINJU! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working.
>>> [Today] there are a lot of people learning foreign languages to seek better opportunities of living and working.
 I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, people learn a second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options.
>>> CORRECT~!^^ 
For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Secondly, people learn second language to get better job opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For instance, professionals fluent in both Korean and English can excel in international business roles, facilitating better communication with clients and partners from other countries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Additionally, in the tourism industry, multilingual tour guides can cater to a diverse range of tourists, enhancing their employability. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Moreover, translators and interpreters who are proficient in multiple languages are in high demand for roles in government agencies and international organizations.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Overall, mastering a second language opens up many opportunities in today's global job market.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, learning a second language is a valuable investment for individuals seeking to improve their quality of life and expand their career opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As more people recognize the benefits of bilingualism, the trend of acquiring new languages will continue to grow, leading to better communication and understanding worldwide.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
131501 A few extra hours in a day 이*규 완료 2023-10-08 852
131500 Making a reservation. 김*연 완료 2023-10-08 0
131499 Trip 김*연 완료 2023-10-08 1
131498 HOMEWORK-231006 양*애 완료 2023-10-08 1
131497 homwork 박*준 완료 2023-10-07 2
131496 Describe a party you attended. 김*규 완료 2023-10-07 1
131495 Are ther any books that have had a profound impact on your life... 이*윤 완료 2023-10-07 1096
131494 Are you happy with the programs on TV nowadays? 김*순 완료 2023-10-06 1105
131493 homework 김*연 완료 2023-10-06 1214
131492 WRITING TASK: Who do you want to go to a cinema with? Why? 임*지 완료 2023-10-06 4
131491 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? 에*미 완료 2023-10-06 3
131490 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “My favorite... 앨* 완료 2023-10-06 2
131489 My favorite food (Homework) 정*환 완료 2023-10-06 1528
131488 homework 이*숙 완료 2023-10-06 1104
131487 I want friend is--- 이*화 완료 2023-10-06 772
131486 What do you know about Australian culture? 신*섭 완료 2023-10-06 895
131485 What is your favorite emoji? 박*현 완료 2023-10-06 1103
131484 Do you enjoy working in groups or alone? 송*우 완료 2023-10-06 1189
131483 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-10-06 3
131482 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? 신*섭 완료 2023-10-06 774

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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