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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 4

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-19 656

회원님의 영작문



Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working. I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.

Firstly, people learn second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants. The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system. Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options. For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MINJU! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working.
>>> [Today] there are a lot of people learning foreign languages to seek better opportunities of living and working.
 I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, people learn a second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options.
>>> CORRECT~!^^ 
For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Secondly, people learn second language to get better job opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For instance, professionals fluent in both Korean and English can excel in international business roles, facilitating better communication with clients and partners from other countries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Additionally, in the tourism industry, multilingual tour guides can cater to a diverse range of tourists, enhancing their employability. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Moreover, translators and interpreters who are proficient in multiple languages are in high demand for roles in government agencies and international organizations.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Overall, mastering a second language opens up many opportunities in today's global job market.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, learning a second language is a valuable investment for individuals seeking to improve their quality of life and expand their career opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As more people recognize the benefits of bilingualism, the trend of acquiring new languages will continue to grow, leading to better communication and understanding worldwide.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
131924 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-10-25 1
131923 What questions would you ask a homeless person? 에*미 완료 2023-10-25 3
131922 Find things that make me happy 권*일 완료 2023-10-25 1
131921 Write about your happiest memory in not less than 3 sentences. 임*호 완료 2023-10-25 0
131920 Do you think that your country has a strong military force and... 이*주 완료 2023-10-25 1
131919 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-10-25 526
131918 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “Are you afraid... 앨* 완료 2023-10-25 1
131917 Homework 정*환 완료 2023-10-25 642
131916 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-10-25 832
131915 homework 안*연 완료 2023-10-25 807
131914 How happy are you with your English level? How do you describe... 김*순 완료 2023-10-25 889
131913 Who are the world’s biggest war criminals? Write about one... 이*우 완료 2023-10-25 881
131912 WRITING TASK: Describe the last picnic you had. What was it like? 임*지 완료 2023-10-25 3
131911 homework_231024 한*록 완료 2023-10-25 967
131910 Homework - \'How to overcome difficult times.\' 이*주 완료 2023-10-25 801
131909 Do you want to work in a medical field someday? Why or why not? 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 1050
131908 Do you believe in lifelong learning? Why or why not? 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 1003
131907 homework 김*린 완료 2023-10-25 1
131906 The death of someone special 양*연 완료 2023-10-25 827
131905 \"Is it important to consider other people\'s opinions? Why or... 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 974

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