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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 4

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-19 1368

회원님의 영작문



Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working. I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.

Firstly, people learn second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants. The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system. Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options. For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MINJU! It's another day to enjoy! Thanks for your essay! Your structure and writing flow were very good. Your writing was succinct, organized, and easy to read. You've got this!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Todays there are a lot of people are learning foreign language to seek better opportunities of living and working.
>>> [Today] there are a lot of people learning foreign languages to seek better opportunities of living and working.
 I also agree that more and more people embrace learning other languages than before to develop their living-qualities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, people learn a second language to live well balanced life in great environment.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, Canada is one of the countries with the largest number of family immigrants.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The country is renowned for its awe inspiring natural beauty and inclusive immigration policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In addition its welcoming environment, Canada also boasts a high standard of living, education and health care system.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Its cities are safe and clean and offer variety of cultural attractions and entertainment options.
>>> CORRECT~!^^ 
For these reasons, many parents and children are willing to take the challenge of learning English for the purpose of immigrating.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Secondly, people learn second language to get better job opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For instance, professionals fluent in both Korean and English can excel in international business roles, facilitating better communication with clients and partners from other countries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Additionally, in the tourism industry, multilingual tour guides can cater to a diverse range of tourists, enhancing their employability. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Moreover, translators and interpreters who are proficient in multiple languages are in high demand for roles in government agencies and international organizations.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Overall, mastering a second language opens up many opportunities in today's global job market.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, learning a second language is a valuable investment for individuals seeking to improve their quality of life and expand their career opportunities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As more people recognize the benefits of bilingualism, the trend of acquiring new languages will continue to grow, leading to better communication and understanding worldwide.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142001 Homework 김*우 완료 2025-01-15 2
142000 What is the best thing about your job? 이*윤 완료 2025-01-15 253
141999 What’s something you’ve been meaning to buy but haven’t... 오*영 완료 2025-01-15 176
141998 June_homework 어*주 완료 2025-01-15 1
141997 Do you have friends from a culture or country different from... 신*규 완료 2025-01-15 254
141996 Homework 신*라 완료 2025-01-15 259
141995 I don\'t want to be a firefighter. 유*빈 완료 2025-01-15 266
141994 I always remind myself the Three things 김*우 완료 2025-01-15 2
141993 The homework of 14th Jan. 조*호 완료 2025-01-15 250
141992 What’s the most memorable family gathering you’ve attended? 임*미 완료 2025-01-15 200
141991 01/15 homework 권*민 완료 2025-01-15 190
141990 Train 민*정 완료 2025-01-15 1
141989 Is there any movie that you saw that you didn\'t like at all? 이*준 완료 2025-01-15 247
141988 What first inspired your passion for playing the violin? 노*철 완료 2025-01-15 255
141987 What qualities do you admire most in your son? 오*영 완료 2025-01-15 104
141986 What is a happy memory from your childhood with your family? 송*자 완료 2025-01-15 2
141985 Homework 이*숙 완료 2025-01-15 180
141984 smartphone and social interaction . 한*원 완료 2025-01-15 271
141983 Homework 7 이*민 완료 2025-01-15 213
141982 stupid 권*희 완료 2025-01-15 200

HOW TO USE IT?

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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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