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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other technology item) for 24 hours?

작성자: 김*경
2024-06-18 1126

회원님의 영작문

Definitely, I can and hope to live without a smart phone. I know how detrimental to me it has been to me occasionally, esp. at night. Smart phone has kept me alert during the night which led to a bad performance during the day. It is true that smart phone can facilitate more effeciency or leisure in my life. However, there should be also some desolate parts in life caused by relentless and indiscreet use of smart phone. Smart phone is so fascinating that it is very hard to stand against the addiction to it. The best way to keep ourselves from the negativity is to keep a smartphone off our hands at home. That’s because a smart phone is not usually needed at home as much as at work. In short, I confidently say yes to your question. That’s what I live out all the time if possible.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve,

It's great to see how thoughtfully you've considered the role of smartphones in your life. You've highlighted some important points about their benefits and challenges. Keep exploring ways to balance technology use with personal well-being. Nice work on your homework!

~Teacher Cathy

 

Definitely, I can and hope to live without a smart phone.

>>Definitely, I can and hope to live without a smartphone.

I know how detrimental to me it has been to me occasionally, esp. at night.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I am aware of how harmful it has been to me sometimes, particularly during the night.

Smart phone has kept me alert during the night which led to a bad performance during the day.

>>Smartphones have kept me alert during the night which led to a bad performance during the day.

It is true that smart phone can facilitate more effeciency or leisure in my life.

>>It is true that smartphones can facilitate more efficiency or leisure in my life.

However, there should be also some desolate parts in life caused by relentless and indiscreet use of smart phone.

>>However, there should be also some desolate parts of life caused by the relentless and indiscreet use of smartphones.

Smart phone is so fascinating that it is very hard to stand against the addiction to it.

>>Smartphones are so fascinating that it is very hard to stand against the addiction to them.

The best way to keep ourselves from the negativity is to keep a smartphone off our hands at home.

>>The best way to keep ourselves from negativity is to keep a smartphone off our hands at home.

That’s because a smart phone is not usually needed at home as much as at work.

>>That's because a smartphone is not usually needed at home as much as at work.

In short, I confidently say yes to your question.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In summary, I confidently say yes to your question.

That’s what I live out all the time if possible.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I try to live by that principle whenever I can.

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