¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-18 1347

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
I want to play the guitar very well. d=(^o^)=b

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yale!

Here's your corected essay. Please go through the corrections and alternative expressions given below, such as "I hope" which can be an alternative to "I want". Good night and see you tomorrow! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?


I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
>> I think the most fun musical instrument is the guitar because it is easy to learn, sounds good, and the guitar player looks cool. 

I want to play the guitar very well. 
>> OR: I hope to play the guitar superbly. 
>> OR: I hope to be a superb guitar player. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138745 Is advertising really necessary in today¡¯s society? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138744 Who is your favorite celebrity, and why? Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1186
138743 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138742 Do you ever get angry with yourself? Why? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1432
138741 What are some health problems you have/had? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1349
138740 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 3
138739 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1684
138738 Hobby ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1312
138737 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1738
138736 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138735 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138734 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1316
138733 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1
138732 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1409
138731 Think your school life as lesson ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138730 Do you ever get really angry with yourself? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1583
138729 July 22th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1428
138728 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1624
138727 Q) Do you think everyone should have children? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1
138726 three things to do before the flight takes off °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1591

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04