¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-18 407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
I want to play the guitar very well. d=(^o^)=b

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yale!

Here's your corected essay. Please go through the corrections and alternative expressions given below, such as "I hope" which can be an alternative to "I want". Good night and see you tomorrow! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?


I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
>> I think the most fun musical instrument is the guitar because it is easy to learn, sounds good, and the guitar player looks cool. 

I want to play the guitar very well. 
>> OR: I hope to play the guitar superbly. 
>> OR: I hope to be a superb guitar player. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136147 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 585
136146 Do you prefer beach vacations or mountain getaways? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 202
136145 How do you maintain your good skills? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 2
136144 Missed investments ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 226
136143 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 0
136142 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 0
136141 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1
136140 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 317
136139 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1
136138 What festivals do you enjoy? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 3
136137 Page.37 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136136 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 256
136135 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 360
136134 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1
136133 What are the questions you ask yourself before inviting someone? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 186
136132 What kind of feelings do you usually feel every day? Write about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 241
136131 How are you different from your best friend? Describe your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 492
136130 What do you think the importance of traveling is? ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136129 Running low ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 405
136128 Do you think it\'s important to stand up for what you believe... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04