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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Describe your dream job.

작성자: 이*윤
2024-06-17 731

회원님의 영작문

Umm, my dream job.....It's too expand to explain.
When I was young, just a stable job that makes a lot of money was my dream job.
Now, my dream job is a job in the field that I'm good at an like.
My major is computer engineering, so I can say that my dream job.
If I think about it carefully, I think it's good to have job where I can continue to study without losing interest easily.
I think computer engineering can be a dream job because it's a field where new technologies continue to emerge and information needs to be updated.
Based on this, I hope I can become an expert in the field of computer engineering and teach my students or contribute to society.
Furthermore, I hope to become a person who is respected by others.
Moreover, it would be better if I could make a lot of money....? ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello,  Yun!~
I believe the last statement is the best...Hahaha But only if you truly enjoy what you're doing, because doing something you don't will not satisfy your inner desire or ambitions... In addition, I hope the wait for your desires to align will be worthwhile... I hope you find a career that will provide you with valuable skills and benefits.
Chammy
Umm, my dream job.....It's too expand to explain.
OR
>>I think my dream job is too broad to describe.
When I was young, just a stable job that makes a lot of money was my dream job.
>> When I was young, just a stable job that made a lot of money was my dream job.
Now, my dream job is a job in the field that I'm good at an like.
>>Now, I'd love to work in a field that I like and am good at.
My major is computer engineering, so I can say that my dream job.
>> My major is computer engineering, so I can call this my dream job.
If I think about it carefully, I think it's good to have job where I can continue to study without losing interest easily.
>> If I think about it carefully, I think it's good to have a job where I can continue to study without easily losing interest.
I think computer engineering can be a dream job because it's a field where new technologies continue to emerge and information needs to be updated.
Based on this, I hope I can become an expert in the field of computer engineering and teach my students or contribute to society.
Furthermore, I hope to become a person who is respected by others.
Moreover, it would be better if I could make a lot of money....? ^^
>>Correct
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