¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-17 299

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Long working hours definitely contribute to economic productivity if those are industries requiring continuous operation. It is directly related to working hours whereas office workers, service job employees and professional workers don't affect their productivity by the working hours. Although it has positive effect to nation's economic development, there are some negative social consequences. Firstly, it is associated with increased stress, fatigue, and various health problems. Secondly, extended working hours leave less time for leisure, family and personal development leading to a poorer work-life balance. Lastly, exhaustion from long hours can hinder innovation and creativity. Government in Korea has implemented 40 hour working a week measure since 2003 to boost employees' work-life balance and prevent diseases related to the stress from long working hours. Although, long working hours may correlate with economic success, its negative effects have to be considered for sustainable

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Long working hours definitely contribute to economic productivity if those are industries requiring continuous operation.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is directly related to working hours whereas office workers, service job employees and professional workers don't affect their productivity by the working hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although it has positive effect to nation's economic development, there are some negative social consequences.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Firstly, it is associated with increased stress, fatigue, and various health problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, extended working hours leave less time for leisure, family and personal development leading to a poorer work-life balance.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, exhaustion from long hours can hinder innovation and creativity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Government in Korea has implemented 40 hour working a week measure since 2003 to boost employees' work-life balance and prevent diseases related to stress from long working hours.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Although, long working hours may correlate with economic success, its negative effects have to be considered for sustainable
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137746 speaking task (day 1) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 186
137745 Raising animals for food contributes to air and water pollution. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 308
137744 Which do you like better, magazines or newspapers? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 179
137743 Is time management important? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 276
137742 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137741 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137740 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137739 Do you think the ambiance is important in restaurants? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 252
137738 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 305
137737 Which TV series made an impact in your life? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 404
137736 What kind of TV series would you like to be made soon? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 257
137735 How are the employment opportunities in your country? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 235
137734 Homework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137733 Do men or women make better friends? Does one gender have better... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 229
137732 Success ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 276
137731 The benevolent genius ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 241
137730 How is midlife crisis different when you are married than if you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 259
137729 What activities do you like doing alone? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 206
137728 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 238
137727 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04