¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-13 381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Yale!

Here's another corrected essay for you. As always, go over the corrections given below. Thank you for sending your homework. See you tomorrow in the afternoon!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.


I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
>> OR: For me, the legal profession is the best because these professionals maintain peace in the country. 

Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.
>> They punish criminals and help victims. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138112 The Difficult thing about learning english ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 323
138111 °úÁ¦ ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 331
138110 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138109 Aspect of fate ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 287
138108 2024.06.26 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138107 Do you think buffet restaurants are worth their price? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 441
138106 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 258
138105 What kind of roommate do you want to have ? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138104 eavesdrop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138103 Are you good at self-motivation? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138102 What is the importance of finding your passion? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 331
138101 Q) How does societal and cultural context influence perceptions... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138100 June 24th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 233
138099 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138098 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 308
138097 HOMEWORK FOR 06.25.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you do to save... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2
138096 Do you like to go to the supermarket? How often do you go? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 268
138095 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138094 What do I spend my money on? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 4
138093 What is the importance of finding your passion? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04