¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-13 533

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Yale!

Here's another corrected essay for you. As always, go over the corrections given below. Thank you for sending your homework. See you tomorrow in the afternoon!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.


I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
>> OR: For me, the legal profession is the best because these professionals maintain peace in the country. 

Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.
>> They punish criminals and help victims. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139646 Sorry ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 5
139645 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 236
139644 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 6
139643 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 249
139642 Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 255
139641 Homework : What does yourname mean in your conutry? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 260
139640 What good party games do you know? How are they played? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 242
139639 Do you think holidays are important? Why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2
139638 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 256
139637 Friday ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 102
139636 9/2(Mon) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 251
139635 What\'s the most innovative piece of technology you\'ve... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 252
139634 My special experience made up with someone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 261
139633 What are the benefits of having foreign friends? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139632 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 0
139631 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139630 How do you avoid overthinking? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 1
139629 Ones that have taught me ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2
139628 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 254
139627 Should social media be banned among young people (13- 18 years... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04