¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-13 1073

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Yale!

Here's another corrected essay for you. As always, go over the corrections given below. Thank you for sending your homework. See you tomorrow in the afternoon!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.


I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
>> OR: For me, the legal profession is the best because these professionals maintain peace in the country. 

Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.
>> They punish criminals and help victims. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137294 What do you think makes a successful cabin crew team? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1006
137293 Do you think it\'s a good idea to write your goals down and tick... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1082
137292 2024-05-17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1002
137291 Which of your goals have you already achieved? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 0
137290 would you like to read more? What do you get out of reading? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1055
137289 2024.05.20 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1029
137288 How do you show you care for old people? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1195
137287 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 779
137286 Homework 9 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1323
137285 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1
137284 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 2
137283 in the kitchen ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1
137282 What place in your country will you never recommend to be... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 3
137281 HOMEWORK FOR 05.17.2024 WRITING TASK: Who do you always keep... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 3
137280 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 891
137279 What are some morning rituals or habits you follow to kickstart... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 877
137278 How does your culture or society view aging, and how does it... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1148
137277 What concerns or fears, if any, do you have about retirement? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 877
137276 Why do you think that money is such a sensitivve topic? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 0
137275 HW ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04