¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-13 1051

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Yale!

Here's another corrected essay for you. As always, go over the corrections given below. Thank you for sending your homework. See you tomorrow in the afternoon!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.


I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
>> OR: For me, the legal profession is the best because these professionals maintain peace in the country. 

Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.
>> They punish criminals and help victims. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137652 Writing Task: What opinion would you present at a meeting about... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 995
137651 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 800
137650 How does the perspective that obesity is the result of eating... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 854
137649 What do you think your midlife crisis will be like? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1021
137648 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 964
137647 Have you ever gotten lost while traveling? If so, tell me about... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 0
137646 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 581
137645 2024.06.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 0
137644 What do you usually do in the shopping mall? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1167
137643 Pronouncing English words with so many vowel sounds ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1064
137642 My life in my workplace ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 15
137641 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 2
137640 Do you think fancy restaurants serve more delicious food than... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1350
137639 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 0
137638 If you could have a conversation with any famous living person,... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 890
137637 What do you like to do with your free time? Do you prefer to... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 999
137636 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 2
137635 Some people think it¡¯s better to choose friends who always have... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 918
137634 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 827
137633 Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1589

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04