무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 3

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-13 668

회원님의 영작문



Increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development. Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its GDP. Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has authorities in various industries and policies. Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.

Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with. As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time. For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MIN JU~!^^ It's truly impressive to observe your unwavering passion and dedication in finishing your written assignments! Keep refining your vocabulary prowess even further.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It is common belief that government should prioritize economy first more than any other political parts to raise national power.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, there is a more persuasive argument that other types of progress are sometimes more important because there are also countable issues occurring simultaneously.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development.
>>> On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since [it's] closely related [to] country’s potential development.
OR>>> One of the government's primary objectives is to prioritize the growth of the national economy, as it is intricately linked to the potential advancement of the country.
Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its gross domestic product(GDP).
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has lots of authorities in various industries and policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, with financial support countries much more likely to be developed in the future.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, it is necessary to always prepare the future issue.
>>> Therefore, it is essential to continually anticipate future challenges.
In conclusion, developing economy is our main goal but sometimes progress in other departments is more important in some special cases such as war, disease and fertility rate. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Governments need to prioritize their goals between economy and other parts.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Governments must strike a balance in prioritizing their objectives between the economy and other facets.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136727 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-04-25 754
136726 Homework 송*훈 완료 2024-04-25 547
136725 2024.04.24 남*례 완료 2024-04-25 592
136724 What advice would you give to someone who is struggling to... 윤*진 완료 2024-04-25 1
136723 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... 오*현 완료 2024-04-25 817
136722 What do you usually do in your lunch break? 길*진 완료 2024-04-25 3
136721 HOMEWORK FOR 04.25.2024 WRITING TASK: Which restaurant and food... 임*지 완료 2024-04-25 5
136720 Vocabulary 임*진 완료 2024-04-25 793
136719 Deadline 임*진 완료 2024-04-25 831
136718 What are your thoughts on the idea that “cheap clothes are not... 박*호 완료 2024-04-25 952
136717 Harry portter 이*노 완료 2024-04-25 724
136716 The risks of not taking risks 양*연 완료 2024-04-25 827
136715 The life of government official is diffrent from what I expected! 김*민 완료 2024-04-25 592
136714 Describe a language you have learned 오*소 완료 2024-04-25 1
136713 Homework 권*윤 완료 2024-04-25 0
136712 What advice can you give a friend who is suffering from chronic... 박*연 완료 2024-04-25 743
136711 Think about vegetarianism and why you think it is not applicable... 김*경 완료 2024-04-25 844
136710 What country influences Korean cuisine? 김*욱 완료 2024-04-24 1001
136709 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-04-24 741
136708 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-04-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]