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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 3

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-13 661

회원님의 영작문



Increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development. Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its GDP. Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has authorities in various industries and policies. Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.

Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with. As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time. For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MIN JU~!^^ It's truly impressive to observe your unwavering passion and dedication in finishing your written assignments! Keep refining your vocabulary prowess even further.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It is common belief that government should prioritize economy first more than any other political parts to raise national power.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, there is a more persuasive argument that other types of progress are sometimes more important because there are also countable issues occurring simultaneously.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development.
>>> On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since [it's] closely related [to] country’s potential development.
OR>>> One of the government's primary objectives is to prioritize the growth of the national economy, as it is intricately linked to the potential advancement of the country.
Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its gross domestic product(GDP).
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has lots of authorities in various industries and policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, with financial support countries much more likely to be developed in the future.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, it is necessary to always prepare the future issue.
>>> Therefore, it is essential to continually anticipate future challenges.
In conclusion, developing economy is our main goal but sometimes progress in other departments is more important in some special cases such as war, disease and fertility rate. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Governments need to prioritize their goals between economy and other parts.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Governments must strike a balance in prioritizing their objectives between the economy and other facets.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136846 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-04-30 1
136845 Why do you think Korean dramas are so popular? 진*호 완료 2024-04-30 0
136844 What do you think is the most useful thing in the world? Explain. 오*혁 완료 2024-04-30 0
136843 Fears 이*규 완료 2024-04-30 804
136842 What are some good things to ask someone you just met? 황*은 완료 2024-04-30 661
136841 my school 김*민 완료 2024-04-30 867
136840 What most worries you about global warming? 박*은 완료 2024-04-30 958
136839 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-04-30 893
136838 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-30 746
136837 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? 오*현 완료 2024-04-30 637
136836 Homework- I really appreciate it. 윤*선 완료 2024-04-30 1120
136835 place 민*정 완료 2024-04-30 1
136834 What other English words with the short or lax vowel sound [ih]... 박*연 완료 2024-04-30 671
136833 What things are there to look forward to about old age? 윤*진 완료 2024-04-30 2
136832 Homework 4 송*훈 완료 2024-04-30 1094
136831 diary 김*연 완료 2024-04-30 0
136830 Language 최*정 완료 2024-04-30 2
136829 What are the pros and cons of rock climbing to keep fit and... 박*호 완료 2024-04-30 866
136828 Not keeping pets 양*연 완료 2024-04-30 834
136827 Are you scared zombies? 이*노 완료 2024-04-30 1215

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