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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 3

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-13 631

회원님의 영작문



Increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development. Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its GDP. Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has authorities in various industries and policies. Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.

Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with. As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time. For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there MIN JU~!^^ It's truly impressive to observe your unwavering passion and dedication in finishing your written assignments! Keep refining your vocabulary prowess even further.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It is common belief that government should prioritize economy first more than any other political parts to raise national power.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, there is a more persuasive argument that other types of progress are sometimes more important because there are also countable issues occurring simultaneously.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since it closely related with country’s potential development.
>>> On the one hand, increase in national economy is government’s top priority since [it's] closely related [to] country’s potential development.
OR>>> One of the government's primary objectives is to prioritize the growth of the national economy, as it is intricately linked to the potential advancement of the country.
Specifically, many organizations evaluate the countries’ level of growth by its gross domestic product(GDP).
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Though the scale of country is small, if it has a great figure in GDP, it means the country has lots of authorities in various industries and policies. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Specifically, countries can grab a plenty of options to execute new policy and investment to meet the citizen’s needs.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, with financial support countries much more likely to be developed in the future.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Nevertheless, it is more important to respond to other types of issues and develop the system associated with.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 As the earth experienced rapid changes more and more complicate issues arise time to time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 For example, when COVID-19 spread to the world, we needed extensive support for the field of public health care system, bio chemistry and medicine. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Quick judgement to progress in those fields made it possibly terminate the pandemic. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, it is necessary to always prepare the future issue.
>>> Therefore, it is essential to continually anticipate future challenges.
In conclusion, developing economy is our main goal but sometimes progress in other departments is more important in some special cases such as war, disease and fertility rate. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Governments need to prioritize their goals between economy and other parts.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Governments must strike a balance in prioritizing their objectives between the economy and other facets.
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137388 What do you think of rainforests? 차*혁 완료 2024-05-23 616
137387 Homework 홍*선 완료 2024-05-23 0
137386 What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean... 차*혁 완료 2024-05-23 1232
137385 Where do you think is the most dangerous place to go on a trip?... 차*진 완료 2024-05-23 903
137384 Do you shop online? Do you like it? Why? 차*진 완료 2024-05-23 606
137383 Choose one: Moon or Sun and why? 최*성 완료 2024-05-23 661
137382 make me stay 민*정 완료 2024-05-23 1
137381 Have you ever visited anyone at the hospital? Write about it. 오*혁 완료 2024-05-23 0
137380 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-05-23 1
137379 HW 양*윤 완료 2024-05-23 1168
137378 benefits of the transport. 최*환 완료 2024-05-23 722
137377 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-05-23 623
137376 Homework 이*범 완료 2024-05-23 632
137375 2024.05.22 남*례 완료 2024-05-23 488
137374 hw 김*현 완료 2024-05-23 0

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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