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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 2

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-12 322

회원님의 영작문

Giving children hopeful messages is encouraged in many countries. However, I personally believe that we also think about pros as well as cons in terms of education.

These days, in many schools, teachers try to teach children ways to get through hardship to get accomplishments. Growth mindset, is one of examples, describes a way of viewing challenges and hardship on tasks. It helps children have repsillience that is essential for great achievements. Therefore, children who learned the way to compensate failures are much more likely to have career they want.

However, giving positive messages is not always key to success. In sports field only a few people can hold the spotlight. For instance, one of my colleagues prepared for the national running team until high school. However, he was injured during training and couldn’t make up a national athlete. Therefore, it's more important to know that even children try their best, they can still don’t make a good result.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

A fantastic day to you MINJU~!^^ Thanks for doing your essay! The arguments in the essay were exceptionally well-developed, consistently clear and well justified. You have effectively presented your ideas in an interesting and critical manner and you have presented a good quality and variety of examples. Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Giving children hopeful messages is encouraged in many countries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> In many countries, encouraging children with hopeful messages is a common practice.
However, I personally believe that we also think about pros as well as cons in terms of education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> However, I personally believe that in education, it's important to consider both the pros and cons.

These days, in many schools, teachers try to teach children ways to get through hardship to get accomplishments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> These days, many schools emphasize teaching children how to overcome adversity to achieve success.
 Growth mindset, is one of examples, describes a way of viewing challenges and hardship on tasks.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It helps children have resilience that is essential for great achievements.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, children who learned the way to compensate failures are much more likely to have the career they want.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, giving positive messages is not always key to success. 
>>> However, giving positive messages is not always [the] key to [succeed]. 
OR>>> Nevertheless, positive messaging alone does not guarantee success.
In the field of sports only a few people can hold the spotlight.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 For instance, one of my colleagues prepared for the national running team until high school. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, he was injured during the training and couldn’t make up a national athlete.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, it's more important to know that even children try their best, they can't still make a good result.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138500 difficult task/project at work 최*정 완료 2024-07-15 8
138499 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-07-15 312
138498 What matters to you the most, intelligence or physical... 이*윤 완료 2024-07-15 356
138497 My current job 한*자 완료 2024-07-15 6
138496 Page.21 김*진 완료 2024-07-15 7
138495 If you could change one thing about your culture, what would it... 권*지 완료 2024-07-15 2
138494 How can you divide your time effectively between work and leisure 권*지 완료 2024-07-15 1
138493 How does reading novels enrich your understanding of human... 박*호 완료 2024-07-15 271
138492 HOMEWORK 정*환 완료 2024-07-15 313
138491 How important is a person\'s appearance? 황*은 완료 2024-07-15 320
138490 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-07-14 1
138489 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-07-14 1
138488 If you had time and money, how would you spend your weekend. 차*혁 완료 2024-07-14 265
138487 dependable 민*정 완료 2024-07-14 4
138486 At what age do you think a person should be allowed to have a... 김*주 완료 2024-07-14 373
138485 What do you think is the best time for a kid to sleep? Explain. 차*진 완료 2024-07-14 313
138484 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... 김*환 완료 2024-07-14 265
138483 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 334
138482 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 318
138481 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 363

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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