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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HOMEWORK DAY 2

작성자: 김*주
2024-06-12 503

회원님의 영작문

Giving children hopeful messages is encouraged in many countries. However, I personally believe that we also think about pros as well as cons in terms of education.

These days, in many schools, teachers try to teach children ways to get through hardship to get accomplishments. Growth mindset, is one of examples, describes a way of viewing challenges and hardship on tasks. It helps children have repsillience that is essential for great achievements. Therefore, children who learned the way to compensate failures are much more likely to have career they want.

However, giving positive messages is not always key to success. In sports field only a few people can hold the spotlight. For instance, one of my colleagues prepared for the national running team until high school. However, he was injured during training and couldn’t make up a national athlete. Therefore, it's more important to know that even children try their best, they can still don’t make a good result.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

A fantastic day to you MINJU~!^^ Thanks for doing your essay! The arguments in the essay were exceptionally well-developed, consistently clear and well justified. You have effectively presented your ideas in an interesting and critical manner and you have presented a good quality and variety of examples. Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Giving children hopeful messages is encouraged in many countries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> In many countries, encouraging children with hopeful messages is a common practice.
However, I personally believe that we also think about pros as well as cons in terms of education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> However, I personally believe that in education, it's important to consider both the pros and cons.

These days, in many schools, teachers try to teach children ways to get through hardship to get accomplishments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> These days, many schools emphasize teaching children how to overcome adversity to achieve success.
 Growth mindset, is one of examples, describes a way of viewing challenges and hardship on tasks.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It helps children have resilience that is essential for great achievements.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, children who learned the way to compensate failures are much more likely to have the career they want.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, giving positive messages is not always key to success. 
>>> However, giving positive messages is not always [the] key to [succeed]. 
OR>>> Nevertheless, positive messaging alone does not guarantee success.
In the field of sports only a few people can hold the spotlight.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 For instance, one of my colleagues prepared for the national running team until high school. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, he was injured during the training and couldn’t make up a national athlete.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Therefore, it's more important to know that even children try their best, they can't still make a good result.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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135341 No need for human resources 양*연 완료 2024-03-08 449
135340 What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? 김*지 완료 2024-03-08 1
135339 Describe a subject you enjoyed studying at school 오*소 완료 2024-03-08 8
135338 Are you a risk-taker? Why or why not? 김*지 완료 2024-03-08 1
135337 In what way is learning English an adventure for you? 김*지 완료 2024-03-08 488
135336 What was the most difficult time of your life? 오*소 완료 2024-03-08 6
135335 homework 유*린 완료 2024-03-07 484
135334 Today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2024-03-07 602
135333 About religion 강*율 완료 2024-03-07 1
135332 Homework 황*혜 완료 2024-03-07 328
135331 Homework 이*경 완료 2024-03-07 1
135330 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-03-07 410
135329 Hi, Harmoney 추*혁 완료 2024-03-07 512
135328 What\'s your hometown like? 차*혁 완료 2024-03-07 490
135327 mijin 김*진 완료 2024-03-07 3
135326 What are your hobbies? 차*진 완료 2024-03-07 477
135325 homework 03.07 최*� 완료 2024-03-07 319
135324 How many toy cars do you have? 최*성 완료 2024-03-07 189
135323 What does your aunt do? 최*성 완료 2024-03-07 312

HOW TO USE IT?

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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