¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-06-11 309

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is it to keep our eyes healthy? Why?

Our body have sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch.
Among them, I think vision is the most important sensor of the body.
I think aside from vision, other sensory parts of the body can be replaced, if this parts problem occurs.
But, our eyes are the weakest body parts.
So we need to do checkups often.
Unfortunately, getting old and usually people get presbyopia and cataracts.
That's why many people do eyes surgery.
So I think it's important do our body checkup for eyes healthy and our healthy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille



~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is it to keep our eyes healthy? Why?


Our body have sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch.
>> Our body has 5 senses: the sense of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.
Among them, I think vision is the most important sensor of the body.
>> CORRECT!
I think aside from vision, other sensory parts of the body can be replaced, if this parts problem occurs.
>> I think aside from vision, other sensory parts of the body can be replaced, if these parts experience some problems.
But, our eyes are the weakest body parts.
>> But, our eyes are the weakest among the body parts.
So we need to do checkups often.
>> CORRECT!
Unfortunately, getting old and usually people get presbyopia and cataracts.
>> Unfortunately, getting old, people usually get presbyopia and cataracts.
That's why many people do eyes surgery.
>> That's why many people do eye surgeries.
OR >> That's why many people undergo eye surgeries.
So I think it's important do our body checkup for eyes healthy and our healthy.
>> So I think it's important do our body checkup, for our eyes' health and our health in general.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139729 Why do we ask question when we\'re unsure ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 1
139728 animal right 2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139727 animal right ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 3
139726 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 126
139725 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139724 What do you think is the easiest job in the world? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 287
139723 What problems do pets create for people? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 255
139722 Having fun at home ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 261
139721 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 263
139720 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 0
139719 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 1
139718 Q) Do you think job satisfaction is more important than salary... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 8
139717 Homework : How do you usually celebrate your birthday ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 95
139716 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139715 homework! ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 252
139714 A food of taking me back ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 256
139713 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139712 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 252
139711 What are your short term and long term goals? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 262
139710 HOMEWORK FOR 09.04.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you enjoy... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04