무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Can you cite some examples of these crimes? And how do you protect yourself from being a victim?

작성자: 김*경
2024-06-10 745

회원님의 영작문

One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking an advantage of anonymity on line. We can find inherent suppressed cravings to blame others within us happen on line. Some people call others the names in a cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of it anonymity. But I am sure that they will fathom that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
Another cyber crime is to hacking others' information. We who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. For example, we do internet banking, or daily routines through smartphone. We almost can’t live without internet or smartphone, which means that our information or money can be more susceptible for hacking.
Therefore, we have to take some countermeasures preemptively against cyber hacking. First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert , second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with many materials.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve! Thank you for giving this really informative and relevant response. I concur with all that you have mentioned. We should be more responsible with what we share online. Also, we have to think before we click. Anonymity is such a powerful tool for those who use technology for the wrong purpose. 
--teacher Anji



One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking an advantage of anonymity on line. 
>> One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking advantage of anonymity online.
We can find inherent suppressed cravings to blame others within us happen on line.
>> We can find inherent suppressed desire to blame others within us happen on line.
 Some people call others the names in a cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of it anonymity.
>>  Some people call others names in the cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of its anonymity. 
 But I am sure that they will fathom that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
>>  But I am sure that they will realize that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
Another cyber crime is to hacking others' information. 
>> Another cyber crime is hacking others' information. 
We who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. 
>>We,  who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. 
For example, we do internet banking, or daily routines through smartphone. 
>> CORRECT
We almost can’t live without internet or smartphone, which means that our information or money can be more susceptible for hacking.
>> CORRECT
Therefore, we have to take some countermeasures preemptively against cyber hacking.
>> CORRECT
 First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert ,
>>  First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert.
second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with many materials.
>> second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with a lot of materials.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130124 homework 08.10 최*� 완료 2023-08-10 1550
130123 How do you encourage yourself to keep going in hard times? 권*진 완료 2023-08-10 0
130122 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-08-10 826
130121 Are there any special occasions or anniversaries you think... 권*진 완료 2023-08-10 0
130120 How would your friends describe you? 박*현 완료 2023-08-10 1310
130119 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... 조*지 완료 2023-08-10 1
130118 Technology changes a lot 김*우 완료 2023-08-10 0
130117 What is your least favorite? Why? 오*혁 완료 2023-08-10 2
130116 Homework 주*연 완료 2023-08-10 1847
130115 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-08-10 1227
130114 What do you think is best to mention about your introduction?... 박*아 완료 2023-08-10 1553
130113 Self Introduction 박*아 완료 2023-08-10 961
130112 Should schools offer more art and music program? 김*순 완료 2023-08-10 1
130111 How does the pursuit of purpose change over different stages of... 정*아 완료 2023-08-10 691
130110 What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling alone? 김*연 완료 2023-08-10 0
130109 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG 완료 2023-08-10 1045
130108 homework essay(2023. 8. 10.) 서*은 완료 2023-08-10 0
130107 human right 권*희 완료 2023-08-10 821
130106 What i am passionate about 홍*기 완료 2023-08-10 1355
130105 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-08-10 858

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]