무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Can you cite some examples of these crimes? And how do you protect yourself from being a victim?

작성자: 김*경
2024-06-10 935

회원님의 영작문

One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking an advantage of anonymity on line. We can find inherent suppressed cravings to blame others within us happen on line. Some people call others the names in a cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of it anonymity. But I am sure that they will fathom that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
Another cyber crime is to hacking others' information. We who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. For example, we do internet banking, or daily routines through smartphone. We almost can’t live without internet or smartphone, which means that our information or money can be more susceptible for hacking.
Therefore, we have to take some countermeasures preemptively against cyber hacking. First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert , second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with many materials.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve! Thank you for giving this really informative and relevant response. I concur with all that you have mentioned. We should be more responsible with what we share online. Also, we have to think before we click. Anonymity is such a powerful tool for those who use technology for the wrong purpose. 
--teacher Anji



One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking an advantage of anonymity on line. 
>> One of the most serious cyber-crimes is cyber-bullying taking advantage of anonymity online.
We can find inherent suppressed cravings to blame others within us happen on line.
>> We can find inherent suppressed desire to blame others within us happen on line.
 Some people call others the names in a cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of it anonymity.
>>  Some people call others names in the cyber-place which can’t pose responsibility because of its anonymity. 
 But I am sure that they will fathom that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
>>  But I am sure that they will realize that blaming others for fun is not good for both parties, stopping their cyber-bullying.
Another cyber crime is to hacking others' information. 
>> Another cyber crime is hacking others' information. 
We who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. 
>>We,  who’re getting used to cyber system are more likely to do through cyber space. 
For example, we do internet banking, or daily routines through smartphone. 
>> CORRECT
We almost can’t live without internet or smartphone, which means that our information or money can be more susceptible for hacking.
>> CORRECT
Therefore, we have to take some countermeasures preemptively against cyber hacking.
>> CORRECT
 First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert ,
>>  First, we need to pay attention to cyber expert.
second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with many materials.
>> second, we need to keep alert at cyber hacking through studying relevant information with a lot of materials.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138232 washing one\'s face 김*민 완료 2024-07-02 642
138231 Homework 유*연 완료 2024-07-02 3
138230 If you could create a new toy, what would it be and why? 차*혁 완료 2024-07-02 708
138229 What is the best thing about the month of July? Write at least... 차*진 완료 2024-07-02 608
138228 2024.07.01 남*례 완료 2024-07-02 560
138227 What is your favorite sandwich? What kinds of bread from other... 박*은 완료 2024-07-02 640
138226 Do you usually try free samples at grocery stores? Why or why... 김*기 완료 2024-07-02 858
138225 Q) Can working out make people happy? 최*영 완료 2024-07-02 1
138224 homework 심*진 완료 2024-07-02 12
138223 HOMEWORK FOR 07.02.2024 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous... 임*지 완료 2024-07-02 3
138222 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-02 679
138221 homework 이*수 완료 2024-07-02 818
138220 The thing that I regret 한*자 완료 2024-07-02 12
138219 What are the best ways to avoid getting sick? 이*태 완료 2024-07-02 788
138218 Is mental health more important than physical health? 이*태 완료 2024-07-02 686
138217 Do you think buffet restaurants are worth their price? Why or... 이*태 완료 2024-07-02 974
138216 HOMEWORK 정*환 완료 2024-07-02 707
138215 How can weightlifting help with everyday activities and overall... 박*호 완료 2024-07-02 722
138214 What are the consequences of doing homework in a dishonest way? 정*아 완료 2024-07-02 783
138213 Some psychologists think that the best way to overcome the... 이*늘 완료 2024-07-01 745

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]