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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think your midlife crisis will be like?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-06-06 1621

회원님의 영작문



HAHA.....
it got longer as I used it.
check the attached file.
In Korea, today is a holiday! have a nice Thursday!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
I guess I went through this when I turned thirty; I was depressed and felt empty and unfulfilled. However, I soon understood that this possible crisis is only in our heads. Thus, it's critical to control our mental input. To avoid depression or feeling as though we are going through a crisis, we need to remain clear-headed and free of worries and negativity. 
Chammy

Well, just thinking about it makes me feel embarrassed and dizzlied. 

>>Well, just thinking about it makes me feel embarrassed and dizzied. 

First of all, there can be many crisises in the midlife.

>>First of all, there can be many crisis in the midlife.

First, it's an economic cirsis.

>> First, it's an economic crisis.

At the middle age, the time of retirement may be approaching or retired, but it may be difficult to live without the money saved at that time.

>> In middle age, the time of retirement may be approaching or retired, but it may be difficult to live without the money saved at that time.

In Korea, there is a system called pension, but the money you receive every month may not be enough to do economic activities.

>>In Korea, there is a system called a pension, but the money you receive every month may not be enough to do economic activities.

That may create a situation where you have to keep working and makes you feel deep depression.

>> That may create a situation where you have to keep working and make you feel deeply depressed.

I'm saving steadily to prevent such a situation.

Second, it's an emotional crisis.

The first crisis, the economic crisis, may lead to this.

When a situation arises where you don't work, it takes quite a lot of time to accept it, and sometimes you can't accept it.

You will compare yourself to others who are not economically active, you will have self-negative feelings, and you will perceive yourself as useless.

>>Correct

The you can fall into a deep sense of depression and loss and become dangerous.

>>Then you can fall into a deep sense of depression and loss and become dangerous.

Third, it's a matter of health.

It's a crisis that middle-aged people in Korea have the most.

When you're young, you don't know you're working, but when you retire, you're the first to realize the problem.

Also, it's the most common problem these days because people are not living a healthy life from eating habits.

I'm also caring about it the most and taking care of my parents too.

 >>Correct


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HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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