¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however,

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-05 2025

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes. I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks. I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes. I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experience and then find the thing they like the most.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! Wow! You surprised me with your essays! As usual, you've demonstrated excellent understanding of the key issues and theories. Your explanations were clear, and you covered most of the key points relating to both consequentialism and deontology. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
>>> There are two types of people, one [doesn't] like any changes and the other [believes] that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
>>> I used to do anything for my [career] and getting a job after  [graduating from] university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks.
>>> As getting [older], people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to [be exposed to] changes and [take] the risks because they believe that they [can't] gain anything [taking a] risks.
 I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. 
>>> I agree with the [proverb "no risk, no gain"] but it also means that there will be  heavy risks if it fails. 
This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experiences and then find the thing they like the most.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142156 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 157
142155 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 161
142154 What\'s the most popular newspaper in Korea? What kind of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 155
142153 Talk about the best food that you\'ve eaten at a restaurant. ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 158
142152 Solve any problems after calm down ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1
142151 What is your favorite way to spend a long holiday? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 160
142150 My favorite looks in daily ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 159
142149 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 166
142148 I\'m proud of myself for still living well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 164
142147 How significant is it for a country to be an ally of a country? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 162
142146 That can\'t be right. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 159
142145 Because they don\'t think it\'s a dangerous thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 148
142144 I think it is important to be able to quickly grasp other... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 75
142143 What was a typical day like for you growing up? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1
142142 1/22 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 3
142141 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 150
142140 What would you do if you had more free time? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 168
142139 What strategies do you use to prioritize tasks? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 164
142138 Essay - Part2 ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 2
142137 Essay - Part1 ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04