¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however,

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-05 1940

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes. I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks. I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes. I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experience and then find the thing they like the most.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! Wow! You surprised me with your essays! As usual, you've demonstrated excellent understanding of the key issues and theories. Your explanations were clear, and you covered most of the key points relating to both consequentialism and deontology. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
>>> There are two types of people, one [doesn't] like any changes and the other [believes] that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
>>> I used to do anything for my [career] and getting a job after  [graduating from] university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks.
>>> As getting [older], people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to [be exposed to] changes and [take] the risks because they believe that they [can't] gain anything [taking a] risks.
 I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. 
>>> I agree with the [proverb "no risk, no gain"] but it also means that there will be  heavy risks if it fails. 
This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experiences and then find the thing they like the most.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141407 What part does luck play in success? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 333
141406 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 353
141405 Is it fair to punish children for making mistakes? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 630
141404 What¡¯s your favorite part of having a friend stay over at your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 566
141403 ¡°How My Daily Routine Reflects My Personal Growth¡± ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 532
141402 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 568
141401 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 485
141400 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 596
141399 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141398 Is there any form of greeting you want to change? Explain¡£ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141397 The government should help people Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 3
141396 What do you like to do every day? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 1179
141395 Do you enjoy observing what other people are doing? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 659
141394 Do you usually have coffee, tea, or something else with your... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 7
141393 Why do you think that most people take a nap in the middle of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 444
141392 Write about your most memorable Friday. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 595
141391 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 1
141390 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 685
141389 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 602
141388 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 583

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04