¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however,

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-05 1713

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes. I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks. I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes. I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experience and then find the thing they like the most.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! Wow! You surprised me with your essays! As usual, you've demonstrated excellent understanding of the key issues and theories. Your explanations were clear, and you covered most of the key points relating to both consequentialism and deontology. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There are two types of people, one don't like any changes the other believe that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
>>> There are two types of people, one [doesn't] like any changes and the other [believes] that it is not possible to be successful without changes.
I used to do anything for my careers and getting a job after graduation of university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
>>> I used to do anything for my [career] and getting a job after  [graduating from] university but I really hate any kind of changes because I am quite satisfied with my life. 
As getting old, people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to exposure changes and under the risks because they believe that they can gain anything without risks.
>>> As getting [older], people tend to be stable, on the other hand, young people prefer to [be exposed to] changes and [take] the risks because they believe that they [can't] gain anything [taking a] risks.
 I agree with the trues that no risk result in no gain, but it also means that there will be heavy risks if it fails. 
>>> I agree with the [proverb "no risk, no gain"] but it also means that there will be  heavy risks if it fails. 
This is the main reason why I don't prefer to take changes.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I am a stock holder but I find the companies which run their business stably due to the high risk of other options. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Each aspect has advantages and disadvantages, so I can't say which is right way to be but I can say that young people must have a lot of experiences and then find the thing they like the most.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136372 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 2
136371 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1103
136370 HOMEWORK FOR 04.12.2024 WRITING TASK: Which chore do you like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 5
136369 What are your thoughts on Korean fashion? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1576
136368 Describe a useful website ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1
136367 How do you take care of your teeth? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 3
136366 In Korea, there are many people who fawn on Mondays. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1507
136365 These are my favorite days :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1165
136364 If I could have chosen any job, I wanted to be an astrophysicist. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1010
136363 Rest is very important! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1419
136362 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136361 What was the last thing you accepted? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1
136360 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1040
136359 homework 04.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 829
136358 What is the most famous restaurant in your country and what is... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 914
136357 My personality ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1122
136356 About my neighborhood ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 936
136355 In what ways does your family provide support during tough... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136354 Do you enjoy outdoor activities like hiking or camping? Why or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 964
136353 Can you describe a typical family dinner in your household? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1144

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04