¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-06-04 404

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of being nocturnal?

In my opinion, night owl people have more disadvantages than advantages.
Normal people work during the evening and afternoon and sleep at night.
But nocturnal people live the opposite way.
And these people overeating unhealthy food in the night.
This is why I think these life-style way it will have a bad effect on their health.
Unfortunate that in my country is there are many teenagers have nocturnal patterns.
This is because they have to go to school in the morning and go to the academy in the evening to study.
And, there are many students who sleep at school because they don't have enough sleep time.
That's why I think nocturnal life-style it's not good for our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of being nocturnal?


In my opinion, night owl people have more disadvantages than advantages.
>> In my opinion, being a night owl has more disadvantages than advantages.
Normal people work during the evening and afternoon and sleep at night.
>> CORRECT!
But nocturnal people live the opposite way.
>> CORRECT!
And these people overeating unhealthy food in the night.
>> And these people overeat unhealthy food at night.
This is why I think these life-style way it will have a bad effect on their health.
>> This is why I think this kind of lifestyle will have a bad effect on their health.
Unfortunate that in my country is there are many teenagers have nocturnal patterns.
>> It's unfortunate that in my country there are many teenagers who have nocturnal patterns.
This is because they have to go to school in the morning and go to the academy in the evening to study.
>> CORRECT!
And, there are many students who sleep at school because they don't have enough sleep time.
>> And, there are many students who sleep at school because they don't have enough sleep.
That's why I think nocturnal life-style it's not good for our health.
>> That's why I think having a nocturnal lifestyle is not good for our health.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140164 Homework N ±è*´Ô ÁøÇàÁß 2024-10-01 1
140163 If you had an extra hour each day, what hobby would you spend it... N ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1
140162 Homework N ±è*¼­ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-10-01 0
140161 Does music have the power to change your mood? How does music... ¿À*¹Î ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-30 12
140160 Is it more important to be liked or respected? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 4
140159 Homework ±è*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-30 0
140158 Should holidays be spread evenly throughout the year, or is it... Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 12
140157 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140156 Sep 27th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 7
140155 What are the advantages and disadvantages of solo travel? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 12
140154 What part of your day do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-30 0
140153 What are the benefits of having hobbies? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140152 Q)What are the advantages of working for a small company? ÃÖ*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-30 0
140151 What are some annoying things that your friends do? How do you... ÀÌ*À± ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-30 14
140150 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 15
140149 How would the world look if everyone had the same talents? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 15
140148 enjoy change or not_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140147 enjoy change or not ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140146 The difference of \'borrow\' and \'lend\' ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 16
140145 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 18

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04