무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Someone who commit crimes for some good cause should also be punished

작성자: 김*민
2024-06-04 383

회원님의 영작문

I think someone who commit crimes for some good cause should also be punished.
This is because someone broke the law, no matter how good the reason may be.
However, if the motive of crime is reasonable, I think the court need to reduce sentence.

After Korea's 1945 liberation from Japan, there was a severe conflict between left and right wings in Korea.
Kim Gu, who was a famous independence activist and who wanted to establish a unified government in Korea, and Lee Seong-man, who wanted to establish a unitary government in South Korea, were at odds.

In 1949, Kim Gu was killed by a soldier.
This soldier, whose name is Ann Du-hui was known to most Korean that he was abetted by a side of Lee Seong-man.
After then, Ann Du-hui lived in hiding under numerous death threats.

In 1996, He finally was killed by a man who had respected Kim Gu.
This murderer was sentenced to 3 years in prison because the court took the extenuating circumstances into consideration.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Min!

I truly appreciate your effort in researching and recalling a historical account to bolster your answer to the homework question posted on your page.

This is a political and historical crime committed due to ideology. We can see them as well during these times such as the fate of the late Shinzo Abe. This may be a different case but it has its political and social implications.

Nevertheless, your accounts are factual and your exposition was clear. I understood all of your sentences since you used a powerful set of vocabulary words appropriate to the serious discussion of this topic. In addition, you arrived at a logical conclusion and a solid evidence of your point to answer the given homework question.

Hence, analyze carefully the use of the determiner 'the' in your sentences. The underlined word/s are for your grammar development. Read them through. Carry on with this intensity of writing. Great job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

I think someone who commit crimes for some good cause should also be punished.
>> I think someone who commits crimes for some good cause should also be punished.

This is because someone broke the law, no matter how good the reason may be.
>> Correct!

However, if the motive of crime is reasonable, I think the court need to reduce sentence.
>> However, if the motive of crime is reasonable, I think the court need to reduce the sentence.

After Korea's 1945 liberation from Japan, there was a severe conflict between left and right wings in Korea.
>> After Korea's 1945 liberation from Japan, there was a severe conflict between the left and right wings in Korea.

Kim Gu, who was a famous independence activist and who wanted to establish a unified government in Korea, and Lee Seong-man, who wanted to establish a unitary government in South Korea, were at odds.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

In 1949, Kim Gu was killed by a soldier.
>> Correct!

This soldier, whose name is Ann Du-hui was known to most Korean that he was abetted by a side of Lee Seong-man.
>> This soldier, whose name is Ann Du-hui was known to most Korean that he was abetted by the side of Lee Seong-man.

After then, Ann Du-hui lived in hiding under numerous death threats.
>> After then, Ann Du-hui lived hiding under numerous death threats.

In 1996, He finally was killed by a man who had respected Kim Gu.
>> Correct!
Or: In 1996, he was finally killed by a man who had respected Kim Gu.

This murderer was sentenced to 3 years in prison because the court took the extenuating circumstances into consideration.
>> Correct! Very good vocabulary!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136246 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-09 241
136245 homework 박*혜 완료 2024-04-09 301
136244 Most vices are bad but not illegal. What activities should be... 오*현 완료 2024-04-09 160
136243 homework 이*수 완료 2024-04-09 302
136242 What do you dislike more, a loud neighbor or a nosy neighbor? 천*은 완료 2024-04-09 178
136241 It is better to stay home on your day off or go somewhere? 윤*진 완료 2024-04-09 3
136240 What do you mostly look forward to when you enter a company? Why? 송*하 완료 2024-04-09 186
136239 How can clothes help us express our culture and identity? 박*호 완료 2024-04-09 205
136238 My parent\'s advice 양*연 완료 2024-04-09 212
136237 What makes a bad cafe? 김*지 완료 2024-04-09 1
136236 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-04-09 182
136235 How important is it to encourage children to take up hobbies? 오*소 완료 2024-04-09 0
136234 About long average working hour 정*훈 완료 2024-04-09 254
136233 HOMEWORK: Why do people need to learn English as a second... 이*은 완료 2024-04-09 149
136232 homework 박*연 완료 2024-04-09 280
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. 이*은 완료 2024-04-09 188
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... 김*순 완료 2024-04-09 259
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? 이*은 완료 2024-04-08 201
136228 homework 유*린 완료 2024-04-08 239
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. 임*호 완료 2024-04-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]