¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-06-03 292

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
In your opinion, what punishments should be given to people who hurt animals?

Animal abuse is much less than before, but there are still happen animal abuse.
In my country also have a low about animal abuse, but there are very a few cases go to jail.
The reason why most of them get suspended sentences, or get a small fine.
So many people saying that the South Korea animal law is too weak.
And there are many sad points.
The abused animals and abandoned animals go to animal shelters.
But, they don't have enough space in the shelter, so finish the period of time, the animals are euthanized.
So I want people who abuse animals and abandoned animals to get huge fine or go to jail.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
In your opinion, what punishments should be given to people who hurt animals?


Animal abuse is much less than before, but there are still happen animal abuse.
>> Animal abuse is much less than before, but there are still animal abuse
cases that happen these days.
In my country also have a low about animal abuse, but there are very a few cases go to jail.
>> In my country, there is also a law about animal abuse, but there are very a few cases where criminals go to jail.
The reason why most of them get suspended sentences, or get a small fine.
>> That's the reason why most of them get suspended, or pay a small fine.
So many people saying that the South Korea animal law is too weak.
>> Many people say that the law about animal welfare in South Korea is too weak.
And there are many sad points.
>> CORRECT!
The abused animals and abandoned animals go to animal shelters.
>> CORRECT!
But, they don't have enough space in the shelter, so finish the period of time, the animals are euthanized.
>> But, they don't have enough space in the shelter, so after a period of time, the animals are euthanized.
So I want people who abuse animals and abandoned animals to get a huge fine or go to jail.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137591 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 507
137590 How do we stop the idea that people with disabilities should be... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 522
137589 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 614
137588 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 2
137587 WiBro ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 554
137586 What is traditional food in your country? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 584
137585 Waiting does not know end ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1973
137584 homework 06.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 292
137583 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 0
137582 Hobby ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 447
137581 What is your favorite snack? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 892
137580 2024.06.03 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 0
137579 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1
137578 Question suggestions ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 576
137577 Mar 31th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 665
137576 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1
137575 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 423
137574 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 2
137573 5/31 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 528
137572 How can we better motivate people to separate their garbage more... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04