¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.30

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-30 427

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is tourism to your country?

In my opinion, it depends on the different rate generation, but many people like the tourism.
There are many reasons why people like to travel.
Among the reason, as we know, South Korea is a small country.
So many Korean people often go on a day trips if they have a enough time.
But on the downside, we think domestic travel don't have special point.
Honestly, I can't recommend tourist spot except for Seoul and Busan in South Korea.
This means everywhere we go, we can do the same activity programs , experience and food.
Similar reasons, there are many people feel sick of domestic travel.
This is because, many tour locations's staff provide the ridiculous prices and unkind attitudes to tourist.
I feel so ashamed, but sometimes I seen through the news a lot of cases of rip-off situation to foreign tourists.
That's why many Korean people go on an overseas trip instead of a domestic trip.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is tourism to your country?


In my opinion, it depends on the different rate generation, but many people like the tourism.
>> In my opinion, it depends on the different rates of each generation, but many people like tourism.
There are many reasons why people like to travel.
>> CORRECT!
Among the reasons, as we know, South Korea is a small country.
>> CORRECT!
So many Korean people often go on a day trips if they have a enough time.
>> So many Korean people often go on day trips if they have enough time.
But on the downside, we think domestic travel don't have special point.
>> But on the downside, we think domestic travels don't have a special point.
Honestly, I can't recommend tourist spot except for Seoul and Busan in South Korea.
>> Honestly, I can't recommend any tourist spots except for Seoul and Busan in South Korea.
This means everywhere we go, we can do the same activity programs , experience and food.
>> This means everywhere we go, we can do the same activities, experiences, and food.
Similar reasons, there are many people feel sick of domestic travel.
>> Similar reasons, there are many people who feel sick of domestic travels.
This is because, many tour locations's staff provide the ridiculous prices and unkind attitudes to tourist.
>> This is because many tour staff provide ridiculous prices and unkind behavior to tourists.
I feel so ashamed, but sometimes I seen through the news a lot of cases of rip-off situation to foreign tourists.
>> I feel so ashamed, but sometimes I see through the news a lot of rip-off cases to foreign tourists.
That's why many Korean people go on an overseas trip instead of a domestic trip.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140151 What are some annoying things that your friends do? How do you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 22
140150 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 25
140149 How would the world look if everyone had the same talents? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 23
140148 enjoy change or not_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140147 enjoy change or not ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140146 The difference of \'borrow\' and \'lend\' ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 28
140145 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 28
140144 What are some ways you think we can be kind to ourselves? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 32
140143 keep up with ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140142 My research about breast cancer in men. Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 18
140141 What are the disadvantages of sightseeing? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140140 retirement ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 36
140139 In what cases does the expulsion of students happen in your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 34
140138 Are there different barriers for men and women at work? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 7
140137 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 1
140136 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 1
140135 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-29 1
140134 What sports game is best watched at home, not at a stadium? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 33
140133 What are your thoughts on field day. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 49
140132 What activities can we do on Yeongjong Island? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04