¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-29 289

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?

These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
And now this rate is lower.
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
But everything in those area is a burden for young couples to raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?


These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
>> These days, the hottest issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
>> According to statistics, my country's birth rate last year was 0.7 percent.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
>> CORRECT!
And now this rate is lower.
>> CORRECT!
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
>> These days, many young people are afraid of raising a child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
>> If we want to raise a child, we must first have a home and money to provide their needs and for their education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
>> So many people want to live in the capital city or big cities for good education.
But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples to raising child.
>> But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples when raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
>> CORRECT!
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
>> Different from before, many women these days graduate from the university and have good jobs.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138728 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 176
138727 Q) Do you think everyone should have children? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1
138726 three things to do before the flight takes off °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 197
138725 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 3
138724 Education ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138723 2024.07.24 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 4
138722 Shoplifting ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 173
138721 Do you always believe what people tell you? Why or why not? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 166
138720 60\'s nightlife ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 2
138719 Logic or Emotion? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 13
138718 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138717 Is fishing a relaxing activity for you? Why or why not? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 161
138716 Describe a memorable experience you had with your friends. ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 180
138715 Homwork ÀÌ*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138714 The disadvantages of technology ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 182
138713 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138712 Least favorable experience ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 165
138711 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 148
138710 2024.07.23 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 191
138709 If you could have it your way, where would you like to go on... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-23 177

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04