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homework 05.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-29 914

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?

These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
And now this rate is lower.
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
But everything in those area is a burden for young couples to raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?


These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
>> These days, the hottest issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
>> According to statistics, my country's birth rate last year was 0.7 percent.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
>> CORRECT!
And now this rate is lower.
>> CORRECT!
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
>> These days, many young people are afraid of raising a child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
>> If we want to raise a child, we must first have a home and money to provide their needs and for their education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
>> So many people want to live in the capital city or big cities for good education.
But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples to raising child.
>> But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples when raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
>> CORRECT!
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
>> Different from before, many women these days graduate from the university and have good jobs.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.
>> CORRECT!

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